Sometimes, you've got to laugh...

There are moments in life that you feel the urge to give that primal scream a try...

I was telling my husband this on the way to the airport yesterday.  It seems our days have been filled lately with lots of "teachable moments", "life lessons", "challenges"...you know, those politically correct words that we parents use when we are working hard to teach our children the big lessons, to value themselves and others, to forgive and forget, or to forgive, but remember and learn, or to manage a disease way bigger than themselves in a way that will give them freedom to choose and excel, we hope...  with a teenager who is about to get her license and a "tween" who is trying hard to navigate the ups and downs (literally) of diabetes through hormones and middle school life, we've got a run on discussion topics these days!!  Thus, my thought of a good ol' primal scream after I dropped my husband off at the airport.   I was thinking this because, well, I got caught last week...

Every once in a while, as I've told you, diabetes gets to me.  Sometimes I have a week where I just have to say, "Diabetes is kickin' my #@! this week!"   Add to that the trials and tribulations of girls in teenage land (did I mention that before?!) and I had my hands full last week!  Diabetes was being a stinker...calls from school were coming in at every test, out of range and in the "Call Mom" zone.  I was managing a fundraiser, too, answering emails, trying to put it all on the calendar and another call came in from school, where, they take exceptionally good care of my daughter and she is more independent than any adult with diabetes would expect.  (I say adult with diabetes because sometimes you run into someone who doesn't know what it is like and they assume that a child can manage testing, calculating doses of the insulin that keeps them alive perfectly, and treat their low or high blood sugar without much more thought than it takes to tie a shoe), but, I digress...

The call came in and I took a deep breath and answered in my pleasant mom voice, "Hello?"  We went through the scenario and I told them I was on my way to school anyway to deliver the fundraiser, so, I'd follow up when I got there.  Then I hung up the phone, shoved it in my pocket, ... , and began my rant, "Ugh!  This day SU#$!! (I don't let my kids use that word, so, I can't either), "Seriously," I went on to my empty house, "Ugh!  Sometimes, my life just SU$#!, you know?!"  grumble, grumble...and then I hear, "Hello?"  "HELLO_OO?!!"  "HELL-O!" emanating from my pocket!

Ye-ahhhh... I stood there, frozen.  "Hello??"  The secretary from the school was shouting from inside my coat... ughhhh...

In that moment, I realized that A.  My life was really not all that bad, and, B.  Embarrassment is a good cure for what might ail you if you are absorbing yourself in self-pity.  :)

I reached in to my pocket and pulled out the secretary I was going to see in a few minutes face to face...and, I played stupid, hoping she had indeed not heard my tantrum.  "Oh, heh, heh, Hiiiiii!  I must have redialed by mistake!  I'm so sorry, see you soon!!"  Chipper Chipper!!

I hung up the phone this time, checking it once and twice again, and headed out.  I backed down my driveway considering the conversation that may be going on in the office, and, then, I just had to shake my head and laugh~out loud.  "Sue, Sue, Sue"  I felt so silly.  I was a little inconvenienced and I threw a tantrum.  My daughter is LIVING the disease and she handles it with grace and a shrug every now and then.  Shame on me...and, serves me right for getting caught in my childish rant.  And, thank heavens I laughed about it because that was the greatest stress reliever of all!  I walked into school composed and smiling, we never spoke of the phone conversation, so, I really don't know if she heard me or not, but, I am choosing to believe she did, because, when I think of someone actually hearing me complain about my life, I am embarrassed.  I actually love my life, with all of its ups and downs, the "challenges" and the "teachable moments".  My kids amaze me with their grace and intuition.  My husband listens to me when I need to vent about the day's events...my family is whole and knows we can lean on each other.  And...

yes, they can make fun of me, and we can laugh together, because, after all, laughter IS the best medicine.