Sometimes, you've got to laugh...

There are moments in life that you feel the urge to give that primal scream a try...

I was telling my husband this on the way to the airport yesterday.  It seems our days have been filled lately with lots of "teachable moments", "life lessons", "challenges"...you know, those politically correct words that we parents use when we are working hard to teach our children the big lessons, to value themselves and others, to forgive and forget, or to forgive, but remember and learn, or to manage a disease way bigger than themselves in a way that will give them freedom to choose and excel, we hope...  with a teenager who is about to get her license and a "tween" who is trying hard to navigate the ups and downs (literally) of diabetes through hormones and middle school life, we've got a run on discussion topics these days!!  Thus, my thought of a good ol' primal scream after I dropped my husband off at the airport.   I was thinking this because, well, I got caught last week...

Every once in a while, as I've told you, diabetes gets to me.  Sometimes I have a week where I just have to say, "Diabetes is kickin' my #@! this week!"   Add to that the trials and tribulations of girls in teenage land (did I mention that before?!) and I had my hands full last week!  Diabetes was being a stinker...calls from school were coming in at every test, out of range and in the "Call Mom" zone.  I was managing a fundraiser, too, answering emails, trying to put it all on the calendar and another call came in from school, where, they take exceptionally good care of my daughter and she is more independent than any adult with diabetes would expect.  (I say adult with diabetes because sometimes you run into someone who doesn't know what it is like and they assume that a child can manage testing, calculating doses of the insulin that keeps them alive perfectly, and treat their low or high blood sugar without much more thought than it takes to tie a shoe), but, I digress...

The call came in and I took a deep breath and answered in my pleasant mom voice, "Hello?"  We went through the scenario and I told them I was on my way to school anyway to deliver the fundraiser, so, I'd follow up when I got there.  Then I hung up the phone, shoved it in my pocket, ... , and began my rant, "Ugh!  This day SU#$!! (I don't let my kids use that word, so, I can't either), "Seriously," I went on to my empty house, "Ugh!  Sometimes, my life just SU$#!, you know?!"  grumble, grumble...and then I hear, "Hello?"  "HELLO_OO?!!"  "HELL-O!" emanating from my pocket!

Ye-ahhhh... I stood there, frozen.  "Hello??"  The secretary from the school was shouting from inside my coat... ughhhh...

In that moment, I realized that A.  My life was really not all that bad, and, B.  Embarrassment is a good cure for what might ail you if you are absorbing yourself in self-pity.  :)

I reached in to my pocket and pulled out the secretary I was going to see in a few minutes face to face...and, I played stupid, hoping she had indeed not heard my tantrum.  "Oh, heh, heh, Hiiiiii!  I must have redialed by mistake!  I'm so sorry, see you soon!!"  Chipper Chipper!!

I hung up the phone this time, checking it once and twice again, and headed out.  I backed down my driveway considering the conversation that may be going on in the office, and, then, I just had to shake my head and laugh~out loud.  "Sue, Sue, Sue"  I felt so silly.  I was a little inconvenienced and I threw a tantrum.  My daughter is LIVING the disease and she handles it with grace and a shrug every now and then.  Shame on me...and, serves me right for getting caught in my childish rant.  And, thank heavens I laughed about it because that was the greatest stress reliever of all!  I walked into school composed and smiling, we never spoke of the phone conversation, so, I really don't know if she heard me or not, but, I am choosing to believe she did, because, when I think of someone actually hearing me complain about my life, I am embarrassed.  I actually love my life, with all of its ups and downs, the "challenges" and the "teachable moments".  My kids amaze me with their grace and intuition.  My husband listens to me when I need to vent about the day's events...my family is whole and knows we can lean on each other.  And...

yes, they can make fun of me, and we can laugh together, because, after all, laughter IS the best medicine.

Text Etiquette

I had a conversation with a grown-up today that made me recall my serious thought on suggesting a new class for all of us who are now engaged in the technological world of cell phones and texting. I'll throw it out there right now, so you can decide which side you're on. I honestly, truly believe that we need to incorporate a class into our society on the simple, although seemingly forgotten, rituals of common courtesy. There should be a handout that goes with every phone that is sold. Class required: Cell phone etiquette 101.

We've created laws to ban talking on the phone while driving, we're working on laws to ban texting while driving--common sense has now been made law. But I digress...

Honestly, I think that, with new technology, should come new opportunities for learning. Our kids are better at figuring out what our phones can do for us than we are, however, we are much better at knowing what it is to be polite and well-mannered, and it is our duty to pass that along to our children. It is an even trade, if you'd like to think of it that way. But, what of the thousands of adults that have these devices and show, shall we say, poor judgement, when using these devices in a public or social setting? Are they to be forgotten? No! I say if you can have a class on "Relaxation" in college, why, then, can't we come up with a pre-requisite for cell phone usage?!

In this class, the first thing I would do is ban all cell phones. No, you can't have it in your pocket, or on your desk to look at, or in your purse, No! You are in class, and,
Rule #1 is: when engaged with people in a structured setting (school, a movie, a play, dinner...I can list them all if need be) your focus should respectfully be with those people, the actual bodies, who are speaking to you, right in front of you, in person. I will admit I broke this rule yesterday. And, shame on me. I was with a friend for lunch and I had my little gadget sitting right next to me...almost pulled up a seat for it...shame on me. So, no cell phones in my class... about cell phones.

Rule #2: When engaged with actual people, right in front of you, as in said situations above, putting your phone on "vibrate" is NOT the same as putting your phone away-far, far away. We've all been there, "Oh, I better 'turn my phone off' before the movies starts." (I'm putting my phone on "vibrate" now, because, Lord knows, no one on the face of the earth can get along without me for a couple of minutes let alone an hour and a half...except for the person I came to the movie with who I will interrupt at the drop of a hat to answer the "vibration"!) I know, we all have our reasons...mine, yesterday (yes, I broke rule #2, too!) was that my oldest might not wake up in time to be ready to be picked up for her babysitting job (see "Two for One" post!). Shame on me, again. Really.

Rule #3: I like this one. It isn't mine, it came from the grown-up I was talking to this morning. Whenever you see someone talking or texting on the phone, in a restaurant, and you see another person sitting across from them, picking at their food or staring into space, waiting to have a conversation with someone, tap the texter on the shoulder and say, "Boy, I feel for you, that person across from you must be really boring if you have to have a conversation with your phone." And then, smile at the person across the table, and leave. You can watch what happens from your table if you want...but don't text someone to tell them about it.

Alternate Rule #3: When in said situation, tap the person who is staring into space on the shoulder and ask them if they'd like to join you for a conversation. Yours is a "no-cell" table--the newest thing since the "no-smoking" ban...that'll get things going!

Rule #4: If you MUST carry a cell phone into a social/structured situation for a legitimate reason (I'll use mine, and, that I am the emergency contact for my kids), then, please, if you get a call from anyone other than that emergency person, let it go to voicemail. Adhere to rules 1 and 2. If you MUST answer the phone, APOLOGIZE to the person(s) you are with. Common courtesy. You are interrupting!! Excuse yourself and take care of the situation quickly. Everyone is busy, has obligations, but, these people actually took time out of THEIR day to be standing in front of YOU, spending time with YOU! Respect that for the honor it is!!

Rule #5: Be a role model for others. You can say you don't mind if others interrupt you to take a call, or text, or play a game while you're talking to them, and, if that is true, well, there's a special place for you... called a Single's Bar. Seriously, take a vow, "I will not put my pretty little device with fun little buttons above the person, body and soul, I am with right now."

I'm going to go apologize to my friend now...

Class dismissed.

A Teenager… My Teenager

My teenager sleeps…and sleeps…and sleeps! She's got scientific evidence that it is what teenagers do, from a teacher at her school. Teenagers have a different sleep pattern than most humans, she tells me. They stay up late, sleep until noon ( if left undisturbed) and wake with a sour taste in their mouth for the day. This sour taste is only remedied by a large bowl of Cocoa Puffs or Captain Crunch. It is amazing to watch!!

If given the proper motivation, a teenager can do amazing things. And, they will, completely surprise you on occasion, I truly think, just for their folly. Take for example, this past evening at our house…

Wait, first, I must give my teenager the credit she is due. It is much from her that I found the courage to start this blog. It is much because of her that I enjoy reading and writing again, too. She's got the gift, and, I guess, in some small way, I'm thinking this is something we share—now, if I tell her this, it will be over. Because, she is a teenager. So, please, keep my secret!

Okay, so, I have been giving this some thought. I have been thinking, should I be writing about my teenager? Not because I think she won't approve or because there is some "privacy" issue, no. But, because, when I listen to some of those moms out there, I wonder…"Really?" Someone's teenager actually cleans their room and does the dishes because it is on a chart on the frig. "Really?!" But, without going down that road too much further, I have decided that yes, I will be writing of my teenager – I will fully disclose that I believe we live in an "Erma Bombeck" environment more so than a "Leave it to Beaver/Wally you're the greatest" environment. So, with that said, I will tell you the story of last night…

My husband and I, a few months back, in the middle of winter, at a fundraiser for JDRF, decided to bid on some Water park passes, thinking this was a magnanimous gesture on our part – giving money to a fantastic cause, and, thinking of our girls and all the fun they'd have at the water park. At the last minute, before the bidding closed, I threw down that last bid to seal the deal! Yes! Victory was ours! Wouldn't this be great?! (*Note to all: when bidding on passes for a water park, see if you can check the expiration date!) Yes, we won. And, this weekend, I took out our tickets with the summer in full bloom and thought we'd plan our trip. I'm a planner, I need to PLAN. The tickets popped out of the envelope all yellow and bright and sunny! This was going to be great! Okay, two passes, ( remember, two passes, that's important) all-inclusive. Expiration date: end of June. Whaaaat?!! Uh-oh. That's three days from now, people!

So, not to be discouraged, I moved into action. Hubby, you're out. Can't go, gotta work. Girls…bring a friend? Go as a "girls day" w/just the girls and me? Ah-ha! I know, let's use this as a wonderful learning experience and pose the situation to the girls (10 and 14) and see what they come up with! I know, you're all shaking your heads. Where were you yesterday when I was trying to be mom of the year with rose-colored glasses on?! To give my hubby credit, he tried to stop me, but, then he said it didn't really matter to him since he wasn't going, so, then, he just watched…

The girls came outside to the gazebo and they were already thinking I was going to assign chores. Yeah! I thought in my little mind, this is great—I am totally going to surprise them and this will be great! So, I gleefully tell them the news! We have two water park passes and we just need to figure out how we're going to use them! Do you want to just hop in the ol' car and go, or, do you want to try to bring a friend along? One thing to consider: the trip must happen either Monday or Tuesday because life is just not that dull around our house that we have more than two days in a row to work with. Chop chop, let's go!! Here's what happened:

My youngest says , in the sweet voice of a ten year old, "I'm good with going with Sarah." A smile wide and bright at the possibility of going to a water park with her sister for the day. But, wait. My oldest says, in just as sweet a voice as the ten year old, "Well, Caitie can take a friend with my ticket. I don't need to go." I'm letting you read that again so it can sink in. In one fell swoop my teenager took my legs out from underneath me. She was being so generous, to her sister…but, wait…her sister is in dismay…no, she just told her sister she would rather not go than spend the day with her at a water park! Wait! This isn't the way it was supposed to turn out…waaaiiiitttt!

Okay, little sister, go get a drink of water, big sister, "What is up?!" Well, it took approximately sixty seconds for my teenager to simply state, she probably wouldn't be able to find a friend on short notice, and, "no offense", she didn't want to spend hours in the car and the whole day with her family. Yeah. No offense taken.

Really, I have gotten used to being shunned in the light of day by my teenager. It is, what some teenagers do to their parents. I know this because I am pretty sure I did this to my parents and this is the proverbial "Payback" they always talked about!! But, my teenager, she's goooood! She used that razor-sharp mind to think through that scenario and realize all the points: all day with her family was inevitable. Not going to happen. And, she was right. We tried to change her mind and quick as a wink she texted the one friend she thought might be able to swing a ticket and permission at the drop of a hat. Lightening fast, the conversation was had, the friend could not go, and, it was down to me and my 10 year old going to the water park. She looked at me with a forlorn gaze. My ten year old doesn't want to hurt my feelings, and, she can't think as fast as the teenager, so, she couldn't think of a friend that could possibly go. And, truth be told, neither could I. Right now she's got one friend on crutches, one with a nasty rash and one out of town. Another who doesn't like big rides..she was doomed. It was me and her, or…

She was brave. She put on that little smile and gave me a huge hug and said she wanted to go with me. It would be a date of sorts. But, I knew…so, I said, let's sleep on it and see how things go. She made one last ditch effort to corral her sister into going with us, but, as teenagers do, mine stood firm. She was kind, though, and just ignored the request, deep in the pages of her latest romance novel.

So, here we are this morning. I could make my girls hop in the car, drive to the water park and I could make them have a good time, darn it! Or, I could crawl in beside my pretending-to-be-sleeping ten year old and whisper in her ear, "How about we wait until the whole family can go? Would you like that?" A smile creeps across her face and she nods her head in agreement, a sigh of relief just so slightly evident to me. I swear to fight the "Family Fun Day" battle another day. I hug her tight, go to my teenager's room, pull up her covers, come out to make coffee and check on the Cocoa Puffs.

My hubby will be happy, too. He loves those waterslides!